Are you having trouble in the bedroom, or are you simply nervous about sex with your significant other? Have no fear, because we’re here to help.
The first thing you need to realize is that having great sex has very little to do with the actual technique of your lovemaking. If you’re looking for a step-by-step guide to helping your female friend achieve orgasm, you’re in the wrong place. Excellent sex starts outside the bedroom, and requires communication and trust. I’m not saying you have to forge a destiny bond or smoosh your hair together “Avatar” style (who knows, you might like it), but I am saying that true intimacy doesn’t happen without a little work. If you’re still interested, read on.
Honestly, this could be the entire list, and it is the most important part by far. Communication is key. If you’re nervous about having sex, say something! If you’re not sure what she wants, ask! Be open and honest about what you want, and make it clear when you don’t want something. Encourage your partner to do the same, and you’ll avoid 99% of all bedroom-related issues.
2. Get Goofy
If you’re feeling unsure about pleasing your partner, she is probably feeling the same way. One of the best ways to ease the tension and start enjoying yourselves is to have fun with it. Crack a joke or start a tickle fight. Smiling and laughing put people at ease, and being comfortable with each other is incredibly important when you’re having sex. Relax, laugh, and don’t be afraid to get silly under the sheets.
3. Set The Mood
Unlike most men, women aren’t ready to bump uglies at a moment’s notice. They require some warm up (read: foreplay) to really enjoy themselves. What you may not realize is that foreplay starts way before anything physical. Remind your partner of all the reasons why she wants to be with you, and treat her to a little bit of romance. There’s no need to break the bank on a fancy dinner (though if you have the means, go right ahead). Make dinner at home, or surprise her with a gift you know she’ll love.
4. Don’t Pressure Her
Blue balls gettin’ you down? Get over it. When it comes to sex, consent and desire should be your top priorities. If she’s not ready to get busy, step on the brakes. Maybe she just needs some more time to warm up, or maybe she just isn’t into it tonight. You should be ready for that possibility, and you should absolutely not get upset about it. When your partner knows that you’ll always put her pleasure before your own, she’ll want to reciprocate. In short, be a gentleman. Duh.
5. Strike First And Stick Around
Your partner’s pleasure should always be your first priority. That means that unless she says otherwise, she should come first. Men are notorious for finishing fast and then losing interest. Give her the attention she deserves and show her that “Wonderland” that John Mayer is always talking about. Then, and only then, should you be worried about yourself. Don’t forget that when all is said and done, you should stick around and keep the party going. Cuddle, kiss, and enjoy each others’ presence. Don’t dine and dash. It’s just good manners.
6. Go Down On Her
Even if you don’t like it, take one for the team. C’mon dude.