On the days when you can manage it, there are few better ways to greet the new day than with morning sex with your special someone. But if you want your morning lovemaking to be truly special and enjoyable, there are some things you may want to keep in mind.
1. Go to Bed Early
Being sleep-deprived has been shown to cause all sorts of emotional and physical problems, and it certainly can’t be said to help one’s libido either. You’ll have a much better time making love with your partner in the morning if you weren’t up until 3 a.m. the night before. If you go to bed at a reasonable hour, you will probably be more responsive, happy and playful in the morning.
2. Eat a Snack
There’s something wonderful about waking up next to each other, enjoying each other’s presence and slowly moving into lovemaking. However, the morning is also a time when you haven’t eaten in several hours, and if you’re susceptible to blood sugar fluctuations, you may find that making love is difficult on an empty stomach. Men who have difficulty maintaining an erection in the morning may find that having a simple snack (a yogurt or banana maybe) can help.
3. Take a Time Out if Necessary
Realize that sometimes the key to great morning sex is flexibility. While we like to ignore everyday problems in our fairy-tale idealizations of early morning romps; in the real world there are such things as morning breath, the need to get a drink, and—not least—the need to pee. On a lot of mornings, your lovemaking will go much better if you each get a chance to run to the bathroom and do whatever you need to before getting hot and heavy.
4. Reduce Demand
High demands during sex can be problematic, no matter the time of day. Some people look at sex as a sort of competition they’re having with themselves, and unless they can have an intense climax or maintain a rock-hard erection, they fail. This sort of thinking not only reduces the amount of pleasure they’ll experience, it also makes it much more difficult to maintain arousal or experience orgasm.
Instead, focus on sensation and make a commitment to enjoy whatever comes. Whether or not you or your partner “performs” up to your hopes, you can enjoy the experience. A sexual experience is only a “failure” if you decide it is (after all, nobody else is keeping score), so why not just decide to enjoy what you have?
5. Don’t Rush
If having expectations can be an arousal-killer, having a strict deadline can do the same time. Morning is the perfect time for sleepy, sensual enjoyment. Let yourself luxuriate in it, and don’t be surprised or dismayed if it takes a little while for your body—all parts of it—to come fully awake.
Now, it’s obviously easier to avoid being in a rush on a lazy Sunday morning than it is on a Thursday morning when you’re trying to squeeze in a quickie before work. But nonetheless, no matter how short your time really is, trying to have sex on a deadline can be incredibly difficult. Our genitals make great barometers for our stress levels, and if we’re worried about the time, chances are that the added pressure will not inspire us to new feats and erotic heights.
So, instead of trying to beat the clock, again remove your expectations. If you only have 20 minutes before you need to get up and get ready for work, really enjoy that 20 minutes instead of trying to rush both of you to orgasm as quickly as possible. By letting go of the expectation, you’re probably actually more likely to achieve the experience you desire. And even if you don’t, what’s the worst that happens? You get dressed and go to work, you think longingly of each other through the day, and then you pick up where you left off in the evening. Although we like to think of ourselves as great performers sexually, ironically, we often get the best performance when we forget about performing and simply enjoy the moment.
6. Know Yourselves
In almost every couple, there is one person who is more of a morning person than the other. In couples where there is a big disparity between the partners’ respective levels of morning-time wakefulness, the more alert partner may need to take more of the lead, while giving the less wakeful partner time to fully degrog. The more alert partner may also need to know when to take it slow. Moves that otherwise would lead to orgasmic bliss can sometimes feel overly invasive or obnoxious when one is still half-asleep.