There are some couples that seem so happy you just want to ask, “What’s your secret?” The secret to happy couples and a healthy marriage is in the must-do’s! These are things we do for our significant other that help build a sturdy foundation for a more rich relationship. Here are some must-do’s to strengthen the bond between you and your partner for a happy, healthy relationship.
Being open in your communication is feeling like you can trust your partner, and vice versa. When two people truly trust one another, it is much easier to open up about emotions, needs and expectations. If your relationship needs more trust in it, make the first move in building that trust by sharing something personal. Being trustworthy yourself is key; the trust needs to flow both ways. Be sensitive to the fact that trust does not come naturally to everyone, and that your partner may need some extra encouragement to open up to you. Trust in a relationship is very valuable, indeed. It’s something you will cherish once it’s established, which makes you a more faithful and dependable partner yourself.
Share (Because Sharing is Caring)
Most relationship experts agree, open and honest communication is the most essential ingredient for healthy relationships. When you have a romantic partner or spouse, it feels really good to have that person in your life and share with them. Even if it seems too small to mention, share it anyway and be willing to listen when your partner does the same. This will give both of you valuable insight into each other’s lives and it actually brings you closer.
To give selflessly means to give without expectation of getting anything in return. When we give selflessly to our romantic partners, we give the gift of listening, understanding, empathy and love. When both people are committed to this, the bonds of the relationship are strengthened beyond measure. It is the secret to many happy, healthy, successful marriages and partnerships, and a must-do for everyone.
Focus on Your Partner
Many people will agree that when our partners focus on us, we feel important to them and valued in the relationship. The best way to get your partner to focus on you more is to lead by example. When your partner is speaking, really listen. Engage in the conversation. Let them tell you about whatever is on their mind and make them feel as if they are the only person you are interested in listening to in that moment. This act of giving on your part will likely inspire your partner to then turn to you and ask, “how was your day?” or “how do you feel about that?”
Take Care of Yourself
By taking care of yourself, you are sending a message to the world that says “I am worthy of love and admiration.” When you truly feel good about yourself, only then can someone else feel good about you, too. That is why taking care of our own self-esteem is so important. Don’t rely on your partner to do it for you; this strength must come from within. For some this may mean exercising more; for others, it may mean eating a healthier diet or paying more attention to your appearance. Sometimes we get so comfortable in our relationships that we think we don’t need to care so much about how we look—nothing could be further from the truth! Don’t just look good for your partner’s benefit either; look good because you want to (and it makes you feel great). Whatever you need to do to care for yourself, do it for you and be committed to it because you are definitely worth the effort. Good self-care is most certainly a must-do!
Celebrate the Small Things, Too
Small achievements are still achievements. It’s important to recognize when your partner has reached a milestone, regardless of what that may be. When we notice the small things, our partners feel they are important to us and in turn feel good about themselves. When this is reciprocated, you’ll see that getting attention even for the little things still feels great. This will motivate you to keep striving for the goals you’ve set, both for yourself and for your relationship, big or small. Sometimes giving the gift of motivation is better than any other gift money could buy.
Keep Your Interactions Positive
Your interactions with other people can have just as much of an effect on your relationship as your interactions with your spouse or significant other. Studies have shown that happy couples have a 5:1 ratio of positive interactions to every negative one, whereas couples who ultimately split up had a 0.8:1 ratio of positive to negative friendships.
The secrets to making a good relationship great are in the must-do’s:
- Having open communication
- Living in trust
- Being partner-focused
- Giving selflessly
- Taking care of yourself
- Celebrating each other’s achievements
- Staying positive
Once you have made these your relationship goals, you are sure to have a strong and intimate bond with your partner or spouse, and that’s a bond that can last a lifetime.
Monaghan, Shiela. 2014. “10 Secrets of Super Happy Couples.” http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/love-advice-0. Internet. Retrieved 15 December 2014.
Pinola, Melanie. (2014). “The Secrets of Happy Couples” Infographic. http://lifehacker.com/this-infographic-reveals-the-secrets-of-the-happiest-co-1518305669. Internet. Retrieved 15 December 2014.
Tyndale, Eric. (2014). “5 Things Happy People Do Every Morning” for Fitness Republic. https://fitnessrepublic.com/inspiration/lifestyle/five-things-happy-people-do-every-morning.html. Internet. Retrieved 15 December 2014.