There is no worse feeling than being in a partnership and seeing signs that your relationship is on thin ice. If you think this might be happening to you, and you want to get back your relationship, keep reading. The following is a list of signs to look out for to keep your relationship off thin ice and on solid ground.
If you find yourselves sitting in the same room but not speaking, and this happens frequently, you may start to feel isolated from your partner. This can cause feelings of loneliness even when your partner is sitting 10 feet away. This also applies to phone calls and texts. If at one point earlier in the relationship you communicated often via phone calls or texts but now you don’t, there must be a reason why you’re getting (or giving) the silent treatment.
Let’s Talk About Sex
One sure sign you have a relationship on thin ice is changes in your sex life. If sex with your partner has become less frequent, or if she/he acts indifferent or overly quiet before, during or after sex, you may have a problem. It’s normal for couples to experience some changes as a relationship ages; however, if these changes seem sudden or surprising coming from your partner, this may be an issue to address. Sex with your partner doesn’t have to be exactly the same every time, nor should it; but it should never feel like a negative experience. If it doesn’t improve on its own, it could be that your relationship is on thin ice.
Details Get Fuzzy
If you are talking to your partner about a past event, a dinner party for example, and you remember having a nice evening but she/he recalls the argument you had on the way to the party, this could be a definite sign of disconnect. A study conducted at the University of Illinois determined that couples who were more closely connected were likely to have similar memories of the same event, whereas inaccurate memories may be caused by the desires of one or both of you would like for your relationship to be like rather than the way it actually is. This is a red flag for sure.
A backburner relationship means that one or both of you are still in contact with past or potential romantic hookups. Keeping these “options open” speaks loud and clear about your level of commitment in your current (and assumedly mutually monogamous) relationship. People in happy, satisfying relationships don’t keep other men/women on the backburner just in case. Thin ice, indeed. If deleting those backburner contacts out of your phone or email pains you, you are probably headed for splitsville.
Communication via Texts
Dropping the occasional “Love U” text can be cute and romantic. However, if you find that most of your communication is via text, particularly serious discussions and/or arguments, this is a problem. Texting is harmless as long as it doesn’t take the place of intrapersonal communication – in person – with your voice. Communication with your voice is automatically more personal and likely to be taken as much more sincere. It’s also way too easy to say mean things with a text because you don’t have to witness the consequences of a partner’s hurt feelings. In other words, don’t be a chicken. If you have something that warrants a discussion, be a grown up about it and talk things through. Otherwise, you may never get back your relationship.
You’ve Never Had a Fight
While this may sound like an ideal relationship, the reality is that if you’re communicating openly and honestly 100% of the time, you’re going to have disagreements. Couples that claim they’ve never disagreed about anything are either in denial or guilty of bottling up emotions that ought to be expressed. It isn’t healthy to ignore or avoid conflict all the time, for an individual or for couples. If one or both of you have grievances that you’re keeping to yourself, those negative emotions are guaranteed to come out eventually and likely in an uncontrolled, angry manner. Wouldn’t it be better to get to the root of a problem ASAP and work together to resolve it peacefully?
These signs that your relationship may be on thin ice could actually be a blessing in disguise. If you or your partner recognize some of these in your own relationship, that means you still have time to repair what isn’t working. If you want this relationship to last and to be happy and satisfying long-term, open communication and fair play are the best way to get there.