Excuses? Who, you? Of course you want to have sex with your partner. But it just seems like a low priority on some days. There’s work on your mind, the kids are always around, and you’re complete exhausted from life. But there are mood-dropping excuses you should stop using.
1. “I’m tired.”
Fatigue can be a bit of a drag in the bedroom, so give yourself an extra hour of sleep. Sheknows.com wrote about some research that found that an extra 60 minutes of shut-eye can lead to a romp the next day. The study followed 171 females for two weeks, as they reported their sleeping habits as well as their sex habits. When women reported an extra hour of sleep, they were 14 percent more likely to have sex with their partner. Another benefit: an increase in sleep also heightens arousal. Rest up! You’ll need it.
2. “I’m bored.”
Sometimes sticking with the same sex routine and not exploring each other more can stall a relationship in the bedroom. So mix things up. A recent study found that when couples do four sex acts (including foreplay and penetration), women were more likely orgasm – almost 4 out of 5 times they had sex. Impressive. Men’s Health has some ideas.
3. “I’m sore from the last time.”
There’s no questioning that sex is a physical activity, so we might experience the muscle soreness the same way we would with exercise. The best way to tackle that is to prepare and train those muscles. But don’t worry, you won’t have to do any “not safe for the gym” moves. Take a yoga class, recommends EverydayHealth.com. Yoga helps get your body get used to positions that require balance and flexibility. And some postures—such as Bow Pose, Peacock Pose and Shoulder Stand—even help strengthen and tone pelvic muscles.
4. “The pill has killed my sex drive.”
While some older research shows that the hormonal response to oral contraception can affect a woman’s libido negatively, some experts think that it might actually boost women’s sexual appetite, according to Women’s Health. Theories include the fact that there’s no worry of pregnancy and the adrenaline rush of a new relationship.
5. “We don’t seem as close.”
Communication and intimacy are bed buddies – that’s for sure. Do you remember that man who logged all his wife’s excuses not to have sex? Globalnews.ca interviewed psychologists and researchers to find that it wasn’t the excuses that was the problem; it was the couple’s lack of communication. Instead of saying what was really prevented her from having sex with her husband, the wife repeatedly gave him the same excuses. And instead of having a conversation with her, the husband made a list of the excuses and then posted them online. They both shamed each other and “fostered resentment,” say the experts. They suggest coming to an understanding that you won’t have the same sexual needs – and knowing that it’s about finding middle ground. And that means talking, spending quality time together and making sex fun. An simpler way to think of it: have regular date nights.
6. “I just don’t want to.”
Sometimes it can be hard to pinpoint what’s affecting a relationship and what we do in the bedroom. According to Mirror.co.uk, there are a ton of things that can kill the romance. So if you’re really unsure why you’re not into sex, consider writing a journal. Things like sleep (as we already know), physical activity, stress, relationship behavior, diet, medication and more can affect our sex lives. By keeping a diary, you can see what impacts your mood and even your partner’s mood. And if you’re considering professional advice, this can help your therapist help you conquer any obstacles for sex.
7. “I’m reading this article.”
Stop reading. Get busy.