This is a typical scenario. You meet a guy and everything seems like it’s going great. An intense, high chemistry and connection develops – the possibility of exclusivity and commitment is on the horizon. Then slowly but surely, he starts to withdraw.
He’s gone from calling everyday, to an entire week passing without any communication.
There are many reasons why a man might pull away from a promising, new relationship. Today, we’re focusing on one of the most common reasons men lose interest. Because men’s reasons tend to be subtler compared to women.
For us, we always know exactly why we pull away or leave a man. It’s often something specific we can easily put our finger on. For example, something he said or did – or didn’t do.
With men, it’s different. It’s something they can’t put their finger on. He just starts to feel pressured and has a huge desire to run in the other direction.
Let’s back up a bit and observe what’s happening for you in love. You like him a LOT. You’re starting to envision a future with him – and seeing how he’ll perfectly fit in to that future. He can do no wrong.
Along with that, you begin to wonder (and perhaps doubt) if he’s going to stick around for the good, the bad and the ugly. Bad hair days. Gaining weight. All the perceived unattractive stuff about us. For this reason, a greater need of reassurance from him is huge.
And it’s this combination of viewing him as perfect and your extra need for reassurance of his feelings for you that has him run in the other direction. Why? Because, it starts to feel like a pressure cooker for him.
He can see how much you adore him, feels your insecurities bubbling to the surface – and quickly starts to feel pressured to be on the same emotional page as you (before he’s had a chance to decide that for himself).
Sensing that you want something from him, the imbalance in the level of feelings between the two gets to be too much. Your insecurities are driving you to throw yourself at him— even if it’s just emotionally. The more energy you start pouring into the relationship, the more weighted down he feels and wants to fade away – sometimes for good.
So How can You Stop Him from Losing Interest?
Even though a deep connection feels wonderful, be careful not to lose your head while you surrender your heart. When your budding relationship feels more like a hurricane then home – that’s a sign to stop and check in.
Our need for reassurance can quickly turn into “pursuit” energy. You’re going after him vs. attracting him. So whenever you feel that kind of energy activated, pull back a bit. Spend some time on your own or with girlfriends, see movies – basically get in some “me” time to help you get centered again.
If he’s already started to pull away – let him do that. Don’t email, call, text or try and communicate with him in any way. He’s in his cave trying to figure out how he feels about you. So let him do that with grace and ease.
And when he gets back in touch, act as if nothing happened – no matter how long it’s been. When he knows he can safely pull away when he needs to, he’ll actually feel closer to you and less need to do it again.