When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, sometimes the fire that you used to have begins to fade. While comfortable intimacy is nice, you may long for the days when you had more sexual chemistry in your love life. If this sounds like you, never fear—it is possible to boost the sexual chemistry in your love life and build sexual attraction. Here are 8 great ways to create sexual chemistry in your relationship.
1. Spend Time Together
You may be saying to yourself, “I’m in a relationship—I spend plenty of time with my significant other.” This may be true, but how much time do you really spend together? If you think back to the early days of your relationship, you probably couldn’t wait to see each other. You wanted to touch each other, to talk to each other, to learn about what made this strange and wonderful new person tick. In short, you wanted to interact.
By contrast, when you’ve been together for a long time, it can be easy to simply live side-by-side without really interacting much: she makes breakfast, he does the dinner, they both go to work, they make small talk over dinner, and then they both watch Netflix on the couch until it’s time for bed. Instead of living like this, try spending more quality time interacting and doing things together. Cook together. Clean together. Talk together. There are still things you haven’t learned about each other, and you’ll learn them if you take the time to really interact. Your intimacy will increase if you really spend time together.
2. Spend Time Apart
On the other hand, it’s possible for people to be together too much. Part of sexual tension is the desire for greater intimacy and closeness, the desire to close the gap between you. But if you’re together all the time and neither of you has a separate identity from the other, how much true tension or attraction can there be between you? Try picking up a hobby, or giving each other some time on a weekly or monthly basis to hang out with friends separately. This could be an easy and wonderful way to boost your sexual chemistry in your love life.
3. Exercise Together
Exercise can be a great aphrodisiac and a great way to build sexual attraction. Not only can exercise make you look sexier and feel more confident, it can also increase your blood flow and release endorphins that can help you feel happy and in the mood. And exercising with your partner just increases those benefits.
4. Really Woo Your Partner
Sometimes things just get too easy in relationships, and when they do, we often lose interest. Part of why things are so sexy in the early months of a relationship is that we know then that we’re really fighting for our partner. We’re trying to keep their interest, because we don’t know whether they’re going to be around forever. But when we’ve been with someone for years, it’s easy to take them for granted.
The good news is that you can turn this around and build sexual attraction again, simply by putting more of an emphasis on pursuing your partner. Try to think of ways that you could surprise your partner and outdo their expectations of you. Find ways that you can really make them smile and gasp. Not only will you feel more invested in the relationship, and thus more attracted to them, but it may inspire them to greater acts of intimacy themselves.
5. Make Sex a Priority
When you’ve been together a while, sometimes sex slips by the wayside. Because we want it to be romantic and spontaneous, and because we get busier and busier, it happens less and less. It’s a sad truth that couples can fall out of the habit of sex.
However, one of the best ways to create sexual tension is simply to prioritize sex again. Even if you need to plan times for the sex to happen, do it. The simple act of having sex regularly may help you both feel sexier.
6. Find Variety
Variety is the spice of life, but in many committed relationships, there’s not much variety to be found. Change things up, both in the bedroom and outside, and you’ll find that you reap a lot of benefits. Sometimes the thrill of the unknown can be a powerful aphrodisiac.
7. Get Enough Sleep
Catching Z’s may not sound sexy, but a lack of sleep is a common culprit when people lose their libido. Just getting the recommended 7 to 9 hours may in itself boost your sexual chemistry.
8. Learn to Be In the Moment
People spend a lot of time worrying and thinking. While this may sometimes be necessary, it certainly doesn’t help you feel sexy. If you can learn to focus on sensation, quiet your thoughts and just give into your feelings, you may find that there is a sexual chemistry in your love life that you never knew was there.