Does Love Lead To Self-confidence Or Does Self-confidence Lead To Love?

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Does Love Lead To Self-confidence Or Does Self-confidence Lead To Love?

Feb 12, 2015 //

So what
comes first? The chicken or the egg? In order to answer that question, here are
a few concepts to consider.

Certainty

Isn’t it
great to know something and be certain about it? Certainty brings a lot of
self-confidence. What would you start today if you knew you couldn’t fail? Love
brings certainty and certainty brings self-confidence. So does love bring
self-confidence? Being in a relationship where both parties love the other is a
very reassuring situation; knowing you will be there for the other person and
they will be there for you no matter what. In that aspect, love does bring
certainty, which reflects into self-confidence. Just make sure to avoid mixing
up certainty with taking someone for granted. Keeping them feel significant
will ensure longevity of the relationship. Passion is just like showering—it
doesn’t last. You have to keep working on it every day.

Significance

In order to
feel self-confident, one must feel significant. When you matter for a cause or
for someone, it does give you self-confidence. Love has a big role to play in
significance. It gives the person that is loved a feeling of being needed and a
special attention that makes them feel unique in some way. It makes them feel
that they are contributing to someone’s happiness. To care for someone and make
someone smile brings enormous joy and significance. Every time you care for
someone and check on him or her to see if they are okay, you make them feel
significant and you also feel that you are contributing. This does in return
give you self-confidence. So in this aspect, yes, love does bring
self-confidence.

Growth

When we
learn something new and we realize that we just got smarter or more clever or
skilled, it also gives us self-confidence. When in a loving relationship, the
opportunities to learn and communicate and change can be doubled. When we are
alone, we are the only ones giving ourselves feedback. When we have someone
that loves us, meaning they know everything about us and we share our lives
with them, they soon can contribute in giving us feedback and helping us grow.
We learn new things about ourselves or we experience new hobbies or share
different views or opinions. This also makes us grow. In that regard, love does
contribute to self-confidence.

Knowing Yourself

So in which
case would self-confidence come first? What if you are not in love? Does that
mean you cannot have self-confidence? In order to have either love or self-confidence,
you must spend some time discovering who you are. Even if love contributes to
self-confidence, it does come from within. What do you like? What are you
seeking in a love relationship?  Who are you? Be who you are. Know who you
are and stick to it. Work on yourself to be your best and be proud of what you
are. 

Avoid
taking it personally if the person you are dating is different than you. They
might just not be for you. It is their problem if they are not a good match for
you. Stop making it about you. Period. Be clear on who
you are and what you are doing. Stick to that no matter what. When you date,
don’t try to fit the mold of the other person or pretend to be someone else to
impress.

Someone
will love you when they really get to know you. True love happens when they
know everything about you and love you anyways. Sooner than later, you will
want to go back to the things you really like doing and go to the places you really
want to go but had put on hold because you wanted to fit the other person’s
world. When this happens, you will realize that the person was not really
a good match for you and you will have wasted a good chunk of time trying to
fit their model of reality while you could have spent that time trying to find
someone that fits yours, naturally.

Knowing
yourself and what you want really gives you self-confidence, which then will
lead to finding love. Knowing yourself makes it easy to make decisions. When in
doubt, go back to what you are and who you are. Embrace it and then make a
clear decision. As mentioned when we discussed certainty, knowing is power and
power is attractive and attraction will make it easier for you to attract that
special person.

So What Comes First?

Love does
bring self-confidence when it gives you certainty, significance, and opportunities
to grow and contribute.

Self-confidence
brings you love as it is probably the most attractive thing there is.
Charismatic people know who they are and they stick to it. Being real will
bring you self-confidence and help you find love.

Nathalie Plamondon

Prosperous Life Coach, Nutrition & Wellness Specialist and has worked in the fitness for over 27 years. Earning several awards within the fitness industry, Nathalie P’s experience has given people the motivation and inspiration to create healthy lifestyles. "Don’t Just Be. Be Your Best" is the way she lives her life.

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