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Why You Should Stop Asking for Advice (and What to Do Instead)

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Why You Should Stop Asking for Advice (and What to Do Instead)

Many of us
go through life not realizing how much potential we’re capable of. We use our
conscious mind, which can handle between five and nine things at the same time,
and we rely on it to think, to make decisions, to plan our days, to live our
life.

When
confronted with a problem, we seek external help – advice from other people. We
ask them, “If you were me, what would you do in this situation?” The
problem is that, they’re not you. Only you know what you would do in this
situation. And only your unconscious mind knows what’s the best thing to do in
this situation.

What Is the
Unconscious Mind?

Your brain
is the most complex structure of the universe. But we barely use 10% of the
capacities of our brains. Asleep or awake, your brain is always at work, ensuring
your survival. Your unconscious mind can process over 2.3 millions pieces of
information every second. Your unconscious mind knows everything. It’s aware of
every detail that can influence your decision. While you were busy living and
talking to yourself in your logical conscious mind, your unconscious mind was
taking in millions of pieces of information, using all five senses, visual
cues, unspoken words, reading every piece of paper in the background, seeing
and recording every non-verbal signs.

Decision-Making
Overload

Most people
ignore their unconscious mind. You can call it your intuition, your gut, your
inner voice. They think logically and spend countless hours thinking and over-thinking
their challenges, trying to make the best decision. They get distracted by
these troubling thoughts at work, while they drive and when they try to fall
asleep. They go into thinking mode and spend hours turning their decisions
around in their head, relying on their poor little conscious mind, which can
only manage about seven things at the time. No wonder so many people have
insomnia. Have you ever had thoughts that kept you awake? Or many little
things, not even that important, but that kept you from falling asleep? Like
what you’ll wear the next day, what to bring for lunch, what you’ll make for
dinner on Friday when your friends come over or what to tell your son to
motivate him to apply himself at school.

How to Clear
the Mental Clutter

Ask your
unconscious mind for help. It knows everything. It saw and heard the things you
didn’t, it was there all along, it knows who you are and what you want. Make a
conscious request as you go to bed at night. Ask your unconscious mind to go to
work, to connect with your conscious mind and give it a clear answer or a clear
path. Tell your unconscious mind: “While I sleep very comfortably and have
beautiful dreams and a restful night, could you do all the thinking for me and
give me a clear answer tomorrow morning?”
You want to make sure your
unconscious mind won’t keep you awake, so ask for the
work to be done while you sleep comfortably.

Just Ask
Yourself

You’re the
only person you should trust. At the end of the day, you’re the best person in
the best position to give yourself advice. Have you ever heard one of your
friends or family members tell you that they’ll do something, and felt like
shaking them and saying: “I’ve been telling you to do that for
months…”
But they didn’t listen to you. They had to come up with the
idea themselves. They had to own the idea. The light bulb needs to turn on in
one’s own head for this to work.

As a life coach,
I see this all the time. That’s why I don’t give advice. I ask questions. I
talk to the unconscious mind so it reveals to the conscious mind all the
factors to consider and so it generates the idea that will make a difference in
their life. Nobody really wants advice, and we don’t need it. We just need to
open up ourselves to properly listen and ask our unconscious mind to talk to
us. Next time you want advice, ask yourself!

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