With the infinite amount of information we have available to us now on the internet, talk shows and books, sometimes getting to the nugget of our blocks can be confusing.
Before I chose to become an expert on this topic, I found it so frustrating myself to get the answers I needed when I had my own love challenges. Which is why I made it my mission to take this vast, info overloaded subject – and reduce things down as specifically as possible so others could digest it easily.
After reviewing my session notes with the clients I supported all year, I noticed there were three misconceptions/ myths that kept popping up consistently – and were blocking them from attracting a great relationship.
Let’s explore what those were – so we can clear this up and get you on the RIGHT path to love in 2016!
MYTH # 1: Love at First Site is Real
I hate to burst your bubble if this is your belief, but it’s not true. Well, for us women anyway. In my observation, men fall in love right away. They decide pretty quickly if you’re “the one” – and then are quite keen to claim you as their own fast.
For us women, it’s more like the art of the “deal”. Once we decide he’s the right age, height and feel assured he’s willing to get behind our life goals – then we start to test. Before we ‘cast our lot’ and hand over our heart, we need to know a man is going to stick around for the good, the bad and the downright ugly.
This testing phase can last years! So, truthfully – women might feel “attraction at first site” – but the real love doesn’t occur until later.
MYTH # 2: Great Sex = Great Love
When we’re young and not so much in our power, our limited experience makes us think if there’s a sexual attraction, we should be in relationship with that person. Through trial – and a LOT of error – some of us learn the difference between true love and strong sexual attraction.
And, some of us don’t.
The truth is, high sexual attraction is usually a sign to run in the other direction. High “heat” can make you blind to red flags – not able to see the person for who they really are. Most of your time is most likely spent in the bedroom. It’s not doing daily mundane things together, like grocery shopping, or – actually talking. Talking about values, goals in life etc…
You can have great sex and love at the same time, but know with a true heart connection – the sexual attraction tends to develop slowly over time. If you’re connection is healthy, the sexual attraction increases the more **know** them as a person.
MYTH # 3: It’s Perfect Because You Never Argue
If you’re not having a small or big blow up at least every two months – that tells me there are a lot of truths not being told and needs not being met. I have to say this is usually on the woman. Why? Men tend to be very steady-state emotionally and don’t have a fraction of the needs (or emotional swings) that woman do.
If you’re a woman reading this and have never had an argument with your current guy – I invite you to really check in and be honest with yourself. If you take a look, I guarantee there are things you wish were different in your relationship – but might be holding back for fear of “rocking the boat”. Trust me, it’s healthier to argue vs. keeping things bottled up inside!